OMG I HAVE THE BEST T EVER. I LOVE THAT MAN (platonically)

i asked. He called. He was not at all frustrated and actually said that this was a very good reason to call him - that i was stuck. He emphasized he wasn't frustrated... and omg.. he was so very gentle and soft spoken with me... overt "softness" always gets me in a way that i can't explain... breaks through my shell. He understood so well... he totally "got it." He gave me some suggestions on how to break up the task... and just knowing he is there.. that somebody gets it and cares.. it makes me feel less alone.

i needed a hand to reach out to me... no one ever did when i needed it

edahn.. i understand.. i do... i can follow everything you're saying, it's all logical and sensible. i appreciate the obvious effort and thoughtfulness. To be honest, i thought a lot of the same things. But seriously.. if it were all that easy then most therapists would be out of a job. Feelings can be powerful and overwhelming.. i am working so very hard on being the one to win.. but i am not there yet. It's like leaving my abusive husband.. it took a lot of time and encouragement and "borrowed" strength.

i wish to god i could relax and do things easily... it's really devastating to feel like this.. i wasn't always this way.