I have felt so desperately awful today. I worry that my mind's going to snap, and I'm never going to be ok again. Putting up with feeling bad is made bearable when you see it as a temporary situation. (Like sitting in the dentist's chair, listening to the drill.) I tell myself this can't just go on and on. But I've been trying to believe that for months now.

I know what I need to be doing, if I could just calm down enough to do things. Yesterday, it took so long to wash a few dishes. I couldn't stay at the sink more than 5 minutes. I'ld do a little, then go sit down, then come back and do a little more. Now I'm in bed just trying to calm down. The depression was bad enough, but this agitated anxiety on top of it is crushing.