Posting on here isn’t detrimental to you. Worrying about how this or that affects her is detrimental to you. She’s an adult. She’s not a helpless creature she pretends to be.

Not sure what you mean by “slander”. Slander is making false statements. Are you making false statements? If not then it’s not slander

Why are you saying you are going to hurt her? By doing what? You aren’t forcing her to drink, be rude, be lazy, mistreat her kids, drive reckless and treat people like crap in general. How is it you are hurting her? Isn’t she who’s doing all these things? Not you?

What do you mean by “threatening” separation. It’s not a threat. She moved out so she is technically separated already. Just not legally. It sounds that perhaps she wants to make it legal now. How is it a threat? It’s a normal progression with separation, not a threat, unless I am missing something?. Do you just want living apart without separation and divorce? Why? Do you hope she’ll come back?