It's Monday evening and only today do I feel like I've kind of reached stability, after I was triggered watching a show last Tuesday, and after session that morning. And then tomorrow I'm back and I'm wondering why I am doing this all over again.

It feels like a slide. Standing at the top, life is good, but then I trip and fall down the slide into a big pit of mud. I spend however many days trying to crawl my way out of the mud, clean myself up and climb the ladder again, only to trip and fall again. Surely it would be better if I walked away from the slide?