This part doesn't surprise me. The worst is the confusion before understanding.
I don't post much about my personal life anymore because no one is perfect (Yes, there are major degrees of good and bad but I now realize we are all a bit broken in some way}. What I always liked about your posts is that you realized your mistakes too. And you made me laugh. Keep on laughing Tisha. Also, no need to look back so much. That just hurts. More has happened to me that I don't discuss. I thought about rewriting that book that I almost wrote from the POV that Jesus' love saved me. If the Almighty One loves me and forgives me, I can forgive myself. Some call the leader of the other side the accuser. I don't want to be involved in accusations unless it is to stop something occurring in the present moment. I am making the decision to not look back. I lived out the pain enough here. Though trauma has to be processed I don't want to do it over and over anymore!! I do pray for those who haven't had the luxury to process their traumas. I know you agree that you have been blessed to have a degree of time and resources to help you process many, many things. I know my view of others was too idealistic and naive. They say that when you see gray hair in a dream--that symbolizes wisdom.

I bet you are trying to live for the present and not look back as much either. Hey, if you aren't, I recommend it!