So much on my mind it’s hard to sleep tonight.

Big thing is tomorrow I have a bunch of meetings and social interaction and food at work. Breakfast buffet, two hours of meetings, lunch buffet, two more hours of meetings, dinner buffet. Not only is it a bunch of food (makes me worry) but also I’m expected to interact and socialize.

I don’t really like socializing. Especially when I have to do it all day and night. My social anxiety is better but I still haven’t been super socially active in the last couple years.

Gah just nervous. I can do it but ugh I wish I didn’t have to. If I don’t participate it makes me look bad at work.

At least Wednesday is just a lunch buffet nothing else. Just so much socializing.

But at least I see my doctor on Thursday. Trying to figure out what to tell him. I’m kind of trying to eat better. Not be so worried. I’m just tired of it all. I should be honest with my mom that I’ve been struggling. I should go find a therapist that deals with like gender issues and eating disorders. My old therapist doesn’t deal with that stuff.

Anyway I’m going to try to sleep now and get up early for work. Just GULP wish me luck.

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