I turned up thirty minutes early and did all the questionnaires about my family, and relationship dynamics in my life never being married or having children either. I hope to finally talk about my difficulty with having friendships and having people close to me, also my tendencies to obsess about relationship dynamics with the opposite sex I feel like I do that because I did have a traumatic experience growing up with my dad. Just the family violence so I feel it makes sense that I would hyperanalyse men or even have this complicated relationship with them. I havent been able to date either my longest relationship was all 3 months, I always run away because of feeling suffocated and it's a confusing and painful experience. I've avoided the relationships all together because I didn't want to break other hearts or have mine broken either. It's been 9 years since I've been in a relationship and I don't see myself being able to be with anyone... I've learnt to deal with those feelings of wanting to be close to people by avoiding the possibility all together. With friendships it's the same I don't really talk about my private emotions that is something that I don't using do, the only people that know about my deeper feelings and the way I see the world is my mother and my sister. I don't feel the need to share that with friendships as I feel like it's a superficial and transient friendship that I don't feel like will last me my life. In general my outlook on all kinds of friendships etc is it's not meant to last