Dear T,

Thank you, for today. It really felt like we were on the right path. But in those moments, I simply cannot understand why you won't hold my hand. You say you want to help, and I do believe you. You say it's ok to connect with you, and I do believe you. It's 'ok' for me to look at you, in the eyes, but that feels far more intimate and far more impossible than holding your hand. In that moment, right at the end, when I was seeking a deeper connection and really felt like I wanted to look at you, but knew I wasn't able to, I also really just wanted to hold out my hand and have you take it. To know that you are there.