It’s not your choice RD. Your wife wants the divorce and she is choosing to abuse alcohol and she is abusive with your sons. That’s the reality here.

You have to accept the reality that this vision you had was a fantasy and not a reality.

I understand that facing the reality can be hard, very hard as that is what I had to face with my older sister. I wanted to feel safe to love her and believe we were close Instead she lied and extorted thousands of dollars from my parents and manipulated them to think I was stealing from them. My sister was hoping to manipulate them to disinherit me so she could have it all.

I was devastated when I found out the truth. I felt so much guilt that I failed to see things sooner. It’s been a very hard thing to grieve. It’s very much like a death when seeing the reality of another person that is so disordered and twisted.
And disordered individuals love to blame others and they can even begin to believe their own lies.