Wow.

You just said two things that really struck me.

First, it's like a death. Yes! I've felt like that. I am mourning.

Second, disordered individuals love to blame others. I did view pornography. That did injure my wife. But I've felt like she can't use my wrongdoing to justify everything she's done. And she HAS used my wrongdoing to justify everything she's done.

There's a song on the radio, You Broke Me First. She'd sing that around me, and state the lyrics to me whenever I said something about her words or actions.