Hi, I’m not sure this is the correct forum but I really wasn’t sure what the correct form is. I’m having a problem with my 76-year-old tenant/Neighbor/Friend. It goes pretty deep, she has lived in my rental property which is attached to my house, for 21 years. Over those 21 years we have become close, we’ve been friendly. She’s watched my children grow up. I always knew that the rental was a business for us a source of income and I would try to keep my distance but she essentially made it impossible. She was disowned by her own children and had no relationship with her grandchildren the entire time she was living with us. To this day I still don’t know what caused it. She’s been living there on an extremely fixed rate, approximately $400 less than the average going rate. The apartment is very old and dated, everything in it as from the 1960s or 70s. We recently discovered it needed a major fix that was going to cost a lot of money. While we were over there we noticed some safety concerns due to her age, and also the fact that she drinks every night while she’s on medication which we all know is a big no-no. My husband and I came to the conclusion we just can’t have her there anymore. I contacted my local office for the aging who assured me there was plenty of housing for people on a fixed income in our area. But they failed to mention was that the waiting list was 1 to 2 years long. We went over and we talk to her, and we were met with hostility and resentment. But she got legal aid. So we went to her lawyer and we had formal papers drawn up and served to her. These papers gave her a 90 day notice, but we verbally told her we did not want to take her to eviction court and we would give her more time as long as she could prove to us that she was actively looking and trying to secure an apartment.
She has been so upset, crying, hysterical. And I absolutely feel awful, I feel sick every day over it. I totally feel backed into a corner of either keeping her there and risking fire and severe financial hardship or getting rid of her. My husband absolutely wants her to go -he hasn’t wanted her there in a long time we’ve had a few issues over the years that have certainly been challenging. For example she’s never been clean and we had a very bad mouse problem a few years ago because of it. Regardless of how many times we would go in there and tell her she had to clean she would say she couldn’t due to her back, her knee, etc. she frequently ignores or doesn’t care the garbage and recycling rules. Many times she puts inappropriate things in the recycling, things trust me you don’t want to know what they were. When she can’t walk to the garbage she just throws it outside on the front walkway and it will sit there for hours until I get home to take care of it. I have specifically asked her not to because little animals get in it and then obviously flies and we get maggots. My husband and I are almost 50 years old. We’re tired too. I know that she will be better off physically in a senior living complex . No stairs, laundry on site etc. however, she’s going to pay considerably more. Going to have to change her lifestyle, she’s going to have to get used to having people above her and next to her -she’s pretty secluded and quiet now.
I just don’t know how to handle this. I did consider her a friend. I think she viewed me as a stand in daughter for her absent ones. We’ve been more than kind to her for over 20 years and treated her very well. I will miss seeing her. But I know this is the right thing for us I would like to still have a relationship with her when this is all over but I don’t think that she’s going to go for it. I don’t know exactly what I’m asking for here, what advice anyone can give me. I guess I want some reassurance that I’m not the most awful person in the world and that I am going to go straight to hell.