Hi guys,

I don't frequent this forum but have a BPD mother who has exerted a profound impact on my life, mostly negative. It's only after 30 that I've come to greater realization on the severity of the situation and recognized that she is BPD.

After several years of pretty much no contact, I'm feeling better and my life is much better. I just spoke to my father today, and for the first time in our life, he opened up to me in a shocking way, about the abusive ways she's been to him, something that I've always suspected, but after your 65 year old father literally weeps on the phone and speak to you for hours.... It's dawned on me how bad it's been for him, much worse than it has been for me..

He's seriously thinking about splitting. I come from an East Asian family where older folks, especially living out here in the Western world, just don't do this type of thing. So I know how much it is bothering him....

The problem is splitting will create a separate plethora of logistic issues for both financially and physically. Neither has
many friends, both are 65.. and they've been together for over 30 years... She would also be worse off because she already relies on my dad to get around and navigate the Western world. Her english is not great... and though no actual illness, isn't in great health...

I'm not sure what to do... wondering other can chime in here. Anything helps.