I am working on not automatically denying and suppressing my actual feelings and thoughts. All of them. This includes things like being aware that I am afraid. These are not easy to keep in mind for me, since my mother hated "weakness" in her children and to admit weakness (fear) brings to mind how dangerous this seems to me. Just to see such feelings and hold them in my mind and not shut them out is a major advance for me.

I can do it some of the time. Increasing lengths of time.