I'm thankful that someone close to me pointed out how my wife argues with me.

Her birthday is the simplest example.... This was three or four months after she told the kids she was divorcing me.

It's supposed to be my birthday. Did you even get me flowers?
- No, I got a flowering plant. it's on the table behind you.

Could you have bothered to get me a card?
- It's behind the flowers.

That's it? Not even a gift?
- There's a gift card in the card.

Could you have bothered to get wine so we can celebrate?
- It's in the fridge.

We didn't even go out for a meal.
- No, I made a special meal. We're waiting to have it together.

Where's the oldest kid?
- He doesn't want to be here.

Great. You can't even bring the family together for my birthday.
- With that, she took her gift, a plate of food, the bottle of wine, and left the room.

She had DECIDED there was a problem, then worked backward to find it.

I've lived my life for years playing defense, trying to foresee what the next problem would be.

Today, I feel sick to my stomach. Because today, and Monday, I am meeting with a butt-kicking lawyer.

This is not going to be a quick, easy separation. It isn't going to be painless. I have to fight for our futures. I don't like to fight and cause hurt. By telling the truth, and letting the kids tell the truth, my wife will experience extreme pain.

Several of you have said "narcissist". No. Me and the kids have each been in therapy for years. Separately, from different therapists, we have all heard about my wife's borderline personality traits.

She wasn't always like this, and, a borderline person is easy to injure. I've always wanted to take care of her, and now I am going to injure her for the sake of our futures.

She was a good person at one time, and she is in mental and emotional pain and contorted by alcohol into something else, and she can't see it and can't change.

This sucks.