I’m sorry you and your boys have had to have so much therapy.

I had to get help so I could deal with my older sister. Different therapists told me I was dealing with either borderline or NPD yet one told me borderline can have strong narcissistic traits.

I felt so lost and like you I did not want to react in hurtful ways. It got so bad I had to reach out to a lawyer. When my lawyer met her she said “Omg your sister is a mean witch!” It’s only been a month and a half that I am finally rid of her. It was toxic to the very end.

I had to make some hard choices for my own mental health. So I understand how hard it can be.