I am trying to put this anorexia relapse behind me. But it’s so hard.

I was feeling more confident and good when I saw my doctor. But I’m still disordered.

I made crab cakes for lunch. I ate two with sriracha mayo. Then I ate a bit of veggies with tzatziki. And a sugar free Jello cup.

I still feel ravenous. But I don’t want to eat. I’ll eat dinner but I don’t really want to.

I have these grand ideas for meals and then I feel bad. I buy snacks and I struggle to eat them. I get scared to eat them. I hoard them.

I’m trying but it’s hard. It feels like so much.

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