You never cared, you never wanted what was best for me. It was all only ever about what was easiest and best for you.

I should have trusted my gut from the start when you refused to answer my questions - it would have saved me a whole load of pain. And money.

I unblocked you on Twitter for a while over the weekend to read some of your therapy related posts and some of them are hilarious. You post and like stuff on there that makes it come across like you’re a considerate, thoughtful client centred therapist, but in reality it’s all a load of $h!t. Co-created boundaries? Flexibility in boundaries? Open to re-evaluating boundaries? Consider each clients needs? Boundaries are freeing rather than restricting? What a load of bullsh!t! Yet you talk about this like it’s something you do and spout a load of crap about how this is important.

Flexibility is not something you do. No touch, no walks, no self disclosure. You don’t take in to consideration your client’s needs, you use your power to enforce your boundaries, your clients don’t get any say at all. Like most therapists you were brainwashed in training, whether you want to believe that or not. You hide behind your boundaries, because you prioritise yourself not your clients.

You can bang on about the therapy frame needing to be fixed and rigid for therapy to work all you like, but I am telling you outright that all it’s done for me is show me that therapists don’t actually give a $h!t and their arrogance and self importance means they believe they always know what is best when that certainly is not the case. I don’t crave boundaries to make me feel safe. I crave a therapist who is willing to listen to what I am asking and respect that actually I might know what I need and what is best for me, and is willing and open to reassessing those boundaries, rather than them telling me that they ‘do enough for me already.’ I’ve never asked for anything that could not be ethically incorporated in to therapy. Someone who is not willing to do that is not creating a safe environment at all. All you have done is confirm to me that having needs is not ok. That relationships are unsafe, that I’m worthless and my thoughts and
opinions are unimportant.

And no doubt you would put all of what I am saying down to me ‘experiencing transference’. Well again, in this case you’d be wrong. I know what my transference was wanting from you, I understand how I experience you through that transference window, and it is completely different to what I was asking and what I am saying now. This is all about the here and now, our relationship based as two adults, not me reacting to like you are my dad. But no doubt you would use the whole transference thing to make yourself feel better and not take any responsibility. Because that’s what therapist do. Don’t like something your client says? Blame it on transference, rather than accepting the ugly truth.

And no this isn’t my ‘black and white thinking’ either. I can recognise that in so many ways you could have been a good therapist for me to work with. But you are not a relational therapist like you clearly believe yourself to be and want others to think that you are.