Quote:
Originally Posted by cogladaid
I went to the grocery store today to pick up a few things. I made a list and everything. I stuck to the list. Had to go to three stores to get everything because I was looking for honey dill (it’s a dipping sauce here for chicken fingers).
Anyway, it’s funny I’m going around cooking and meal planning and grocery shopping. I had to laugh. Get the anorexic to do all that.
I was at the store and I felt overwhelmed looking at ice cream and chips and stuff. I had this irrational thought passing by the bread section that I’ll breathe in gluten and contaminate myself.
I managed to brush it off but I found myself focused a lot still on low calorie options. Like 4 cal kombucha instead of 70 cal.
But good is I went to Starbucks and ordered something different. Something with more calories than I usually get. I got a matcha tea latte with almond milk. It was good. And then I went home and ate a bunch of chicken fingers.
I’m so full and I’m trying to feel okay with it. But hey I managed to do a little bit today.
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Matcha lattes are really good. I think you’re doing a great job, keep up the good work. A lot of people don’t realize how hard it can be just to order a drink with more calories than normal but it’s a big accomplishment in starting to overcome EDs. Progress isn’t linear, it’s okay to do well in one moment and then go backwards a bit, back and forth over and over. It happens. Just keep trying. I struggled with my ED for so many years , my progress was not linear at all. I had times I’d regress for weeks , months, or just days, then go back and do well. Etc. but over time eventually with the help of therapy and other things it’s gotten to where it’s mostly stable. There were times I didn’t want help with it.
One thing is eating disorders end up consuming every thought and part of your life to where it’s the only thing one thinks about. Sometimes I felt like it was the only thing I could control in my life.
Anyway my point is keep working on it and hopefully that therapist you are possibly gonna see helps as well
it’s worth it, I hope that made sense
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type