Oh gosh, downtroddenred, that isn't a good situation.

I don't think you've ruined your karma. The way she's acting, her karma won't be too good

You obviously care a great deal. You have already done so much insofar as support and even research on her behalf. A bad person wouldn't have done any of what you have. You've gone above and beyond.

The process server was probably just being agreeable to get on with his day.

I don't know if you're asking for advice, but honestly, if it were me, I'd probably take a big step back, disconnect from her, and let her start figuring it out on her own. You are giving her a lot of time to move, and it sounds like you might offer a little more time if she seems like she's making headway. If she knows you're emotionally engaged, she might play on that. Maybe make yourself available for concerns as a landlord, but give her lots of space? Once she thinks you're disengaged emotionally, she may just give up and get on with it.

Many hugs coming your way.