My EMDR therapist called me back today. She said to just let it come. When you have something to be sad about let it come. SHe told me to monitor it. She said its different then being sad all the time. If your sad all the time you dont want to encourage it. She told me to just watch it. I just have so many things I processing today. I have to proritize what is most important. This EMDR work is number one. I also had bump in the road with my regular therapist. Its all me not her. I can deal with that on monday when I see see her. Then I am processing something around my step grandma. SHe was just grandma to me. I have some very sad moments of our last visit together. Her daughter my step aunt had been killed by her husband in front of my grandma at my grandmas house. I saw my grandma at the funeral and I was made to spend the night with my grandma. I felt helpless to help her feel better. There was evidence of the crime every where and my grandma was severely traumatized. I think that was to much for me at the age of 15. I got moved to a different foster home that christmas and never saw my grandma again. Alot to process at the same time. It just all came up at the same time.I am tired this is all alot of work. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ