Wow, that's a tough question. Seems like anything you do has down sides.

Since I suffer from mental illness I have to do unpopular things so I don't end up back in a mental hospital. It's hard with family stuff though. Not sure what I would do if I was in your shoes.

Hopefully others here with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and respond with something really helpful.

We do what we can do given everything influencing us moment by moment. Some things we simply cannot do. My heart goes out to you. So very sorry I am unable to be helpful to you in this.