If I knew how to do the private messages here, I'd send you all my contact information in a heartbeat, star. I've been in your shoes... I don't know what's lead you to feel such sorrow and loneliness, but I've felt those feelings too. The many suicide attemps, having my stomach pumped time after time from trying to OD on pills, the boozin' day in and day out and smoking all the crack and meth I possibly could, all to take away the pain I didn't want to face... I didn't want to face REALITY. I don't know much else to tell you other than you're not alone in this battle and you're definately not alone in the denial. My arms are open if you need to feel warmth instead of the cold hallowness we often feel. I'll fight any battle with you that you need help fighting, but you gotta want to help fight the battle, too. (((huggz if wanted)))