I'm struggling some. But I haven't SH-ed anymore since Wednesday so good on me. That has been really hard because I have been under a lot of distress. I don't want to reach out to my T again because it's a new therapeutic relationship and I am afraid of scaring her off but I will probably talk to a hotline just because I have been feeling pretty bad emotionally. I don't think I need to be hospitalized yet, but I think it might be coming. I just really don't want that $2,000 to $2,500 bill y'know....plus missing work. I know it affects my performance evaluations and that sucks because I only have so much control over my mental health. I probably needed to go to the ER the other day because of command hallucinations but I didn't. I am looking forward to the weekend. I need to wash my sheets, and maybe my comforter because Zoey sleeps with me and likes to roll up in the comforter. But hopefully I can just relax. I feel like isolating so I don't even feel like going to Church but I will probably make myself go because it is better to not isolate even though it is the opposite of what I feel like doing, y'know. I am so grateful for you all and for everyone on MSF! Everyone is so great here. At least here I belong.