That's too bad. I always told myself that when my mother is gone I will no longer allow her to occupy my thoughts, but I try and do the same now and it's hard.

Don't let her haunt you. I personally don't believe in ghosts/spirits in this world so that's an advantage I guess. I know you probably didn't mean literally, but I believe if they are still around they are far away from here. And you never know what their perspective on their own actions might be.

One time years ago when my mother was bullying me (after I'd already moved away from home), she unknowingly was being recorded by her answering machine. She listened to herself and called me to apologize-- one of the few times she ever did. How I wished I had the recording of all the times she'd done worse!