I've posted perviously of this friend, however this is a update from then. I have mention the history here just for those that don't know about it) thank you

This is my experience with a friend and I feel I have done some thing "wrong" but when I look at the facts I haven't.

I'm also trying to understand what on earth happened to the friendship. I feel confused and this false sense of guilt.

Basically I reconnect with a friend from high school and at first I notice they told me their parent was dying from cancer sadly.
I felt sorry for her and how tough that must be, since her parent was young.

At first when we hang out I didn't take note, but they did say small things towards me that were digs. For example I mention how my ankle is funny because couple years ago I fell and broke my ankle. They told me my legs are werid. Which is odd thing to say if you mention Hey I broke my ankle and still having trouble with it.

I do recalled at the very begining how she told me if she doesn't like someone anyone she stops talking to them. (I thought that was odd, instead of working it out with that person)

I suggested we do a art class together and we did a online art class for kids, once a week.
We take turns, so she did one Saturday and the fellowing week it be my turn. We did it through zoom.
At first she seems supportive in the friendship and to do the art class.
For example she helped me with my work CV and my partners.
I gave her a small gift of chocolate to say thank you.

She built my confience it seemed.

I supported her and listen to her troubles.From her parent sadly passing away to her siblings troubles and work troubles and her anxiety.
I once gave her this calming tea to help for her anxiety. Or mention mindfullness.
I was there when she cried about her dad passing away. I watched through zoom the funeral because it was lockdown at that time.
I sent her flowers.
If I didn't hear from her say couple of days I began to worry, and when we have our catch up after our art classes through zoom she would lay out her issues to me.
I was emotionally infested with her and not realizing at all I was being used.
She even told me I should become a therapist at one point.

We would catch up for caffee and talk and the art class or go out for cocktail drinks.

However over time.... so maybe after 6 months it slowly faded.

They stopped responding to my texts as often at first it was 3 days then it became a week. I would worry I upset her or she wasn't in a good space. However I found out she was busy dating guys from Tinder and I wasted my time worrying about her.

I recalled we did a competition for the class to win a prize. It was my idea firstly however she keep having the last say. Meaning instead of picking one of the kids in our class to win, it had to be someone that was outside of the class. Her reason was to bring them into our art class. Well that didn't work because they didn't. She also said I had to pick the person who looked pretty much "poor". Well she picked the person. I then had to send the prize and it cost $18 to be sent and I told my friend the cost and she never paid her half!

I did notice I began doing everything for our socal media page. From videos to posts to even creating her own event page every week when it was her turn!!
I started to feel frustrated, annoyed.

It did became a issue with the response of messages meaning if it was art class related request I wanted her to do ,she didn't got back to me for over a week and only 10mins before class started that she messaged.
It was a simple request it was just stating if she could stick to teach them the fundamental drawings so the kids won't get confused.
The reason why I said this is because we did a in person art class. I was approached by this community centre to do a art class for the kids and I involved my friend as well.
However!! I will point out! I pretty much did all the leg work. From looking at the class rooms which one would be best, to creating the social media event page and banner. To reminding her even on the day before the class to print out our art flyers. I even had to remind her to do bank statement to send to community centre! There was a whole big thing about that too. My friend had this THING! we had to do it for free the class in person. However I wanted us to get paid, because of the time putting in the class together and figuring out how to teach it and petrol. The community centre dude offer to pay us $40, my friend told me to ask the dude is the $40 for each? The dude told me $40 is for us to share and we can split.
My friend told me I should've negotiated better. I felt ashamed and guilty and it ruminated my mind for weeks!

My friend refused to take the $40 and we'll ..the community centre never gave us the $40!

Anyway when we did the art class in person. My friend didn't do much, she just stand and take photos didn't bother to help the kids if they were struggling to draw. My partner who was there for support actually help the kids that were struggling.

My friend wanted to there own in person art class and I was thinking oh hell no I be doing everything. They wanted more kids in class I suggested less so we can help the kids, however my friend disagreed and was more looking at numbers than quailty of teaching.

After that event that's when she slowly faded in replying to my texts even more so.
At the time they were going to therapy and I notice they suddenly stop talking to me about their work problems or family life issues or their greif with their parent that passed away. My friend told me how it was great they were getting "vaildated". I've been to therapy myself and never once I thought to myself "Oh it's great to get vaildated". I thought it was a odd comment.
The reason why it bothered me is because I realised that they were only talking to me about their problems and getting vaildation from me, I didn't realised this at the time. I thought what I was doing was being a good friend.


I eventually built the strength to message them this because I was starting to build resentment and bitterness with the whole art class and doing everything alone.

I said this
"Hi,
How are you? I haven't heard from you for a while, so I hope everything is going well in your neck of your woods.
I've been thinking about art class and what I want to focus on with teaching, I've noticed there seems to be a high demand for reading classes of history.
I got this feedback from Rory from community centre and what the parents were telling him, what they were looking for. As well that one girl in the art class we did, how the mother asked if we do anything else. I also thought it was important since there is lost of knowledge here .As I've discussed this with my art mentor. So I feel strongly and passionate to help the kids with their art, as it can be hard to seek resources and teach yourself.
I would prefer to focus on teaching the art class for a small group of kids so they can get the attention they need. I don't want to over-commit myself to too many classes and would like to step away from the free reading classes, so I can focus solidly on the fundamental art class.
It will take a lot of time of research and finding what will be easy for the kids to digest from looking through adult art fundamental books, as and doing it kinda like a course so they can take in the information about what they need to learn.
I do value our friendship and what we've done with reading class and I appreciate your help and your kindness you've shared with me, it means a lot.I would like to continue to spend time with you going forward. I know recently the time we've spent together has been around att Class and I don't want to lose you as a friend, or not see you anymore. Can we still orgainse to me up, for example once a month kinda thing."

They reply back with this
"Awww babe

This reads like you spent ages thinking about how to explain your decision - you don't need to!
Of course we're friends beyond art class you goose.
Yes, if this is what you want to do, then do it
I'll take over reading class and see how long i want to keep it going, cos it's not a forever thing for me, either.
And flip yes we must meet up once a month for a gossip etc"

I replied back and felt a bit defences when they said to me "you spent ages thinking about how to explain your decision"
Which wasn't really the case it was more to do with me being very clear because of my past challenges with friends.

I replied back and said
oh, I was trying to find the words to express and explain myself. ☺️
I didn't want to hurt your feelings or anything like that, that all.

You okay to do it alone with the art class?
I don't know if your upset or bothered me pulling out?
I just want to make sure you are okay.

Yes excatly drinks.
oh must ask why was that dude a dud?
was he creepy?

My friend responded and said

"Nah I'm not upset. Like I said, this isn't forever for me, too. But I'd like to keep going for a bit, so I will.
No, just a raging disappointment. He cancelled a date TWICE last Sunday, both times only letting me know half an hour beforehand. Then promised to make it up to me but ignored me for a week. Basically slow fading me.
So he is no more.

With the messaging

My friend told me once how they forget to reply to people. It's not personal.

I said "yeah I notice that, you seem to reply in the evenings." After I said that, she suddenly stopped replying to me in the evenings

At first my friend started from replying to me often to a couple days in-between. Then the days went to a week or 2 weeks, I notice if you send more than one message then they would reply so say 3 messages. But now they don't anymore.

I recalled when it was their birthday last year and I offer we go out for drinks and I did a protrait of them. I do art on the side so I thought it was a nice gift. They seem to really like it.

When it was my birthday, they forgot didn't got me anything or said anything.
When we meet a month after my birthday they said they forgot it was birthday and thought buying me a smoothie be okay???
Basically at that time I mention about our art class and told her how it got too much with the socail media and it was taking over my life and the art that was important to me. I said I felt sad and alone.
Instead of empathize she said to me cut and dry
"Well I told you work comes first for me"
I was a bit stunned what she said. I don't even recalled or remember her telling me this.
I told my sibling and they know me, I can recall a converstation word by word. And if she did say that my sibling would know! I would've been upset and told them all about.

So I felt a bit confused and started questioning my self. Did she said? pretty sure she didn't.

Anyway,
I told her how I felt like I was doing everything and she to me up front up "Yeah it's true you did everything" I said to her "So you knew" and she said "Yes it's not secert".

I was shocked and angry at her. I didn't show the emotions or spoke out. It seem my emotion delayed and it was only when I got home what she said was ruminating in my mind and I was wondering why I was bothered by it.

I question and wondered but why would you continue to let your friend to do everything?

My friend said some things that are odd and I thought maybe it be worth to sharing to give a idea of this friend.

My friend told me how before they reach to the age of 10, they thought they were better than everyone else, but realised that they had no friends. So they started to make friends. Which is odd ,what kid at the age of ten think they are ebetter than everyone else that you don't make friends??

My silbling whom we catch bus from school to home with my friend. They would pointed out how they found them odd. I asked how? So they made up a example which was say if you brought yourself a t.shirt and say hey look at my new shirt! my friend would be in response "I don't like that shirt".
My silbling explain to me that my friend reminds them Sheldon from the Big Bang tv series. In the sense of how Sheldon isn't aware of socail cues or people emotions.

I asked my other friend about them and they said they always appeared "smart".

Anyway my friend told me their longest realtionship is 5 months and how whenever they go out on a date with some dude, they eventually get annoyed with them and complain about them to their friends. Then breaks up with them because they need to get them off them.
I suggested why not tell them what annoys you then? and my friend said "Oh no I can't do that".

They go on Tinder and date men left, right and centre. They say there is no spark with that person and would happily just drop them like a hot potatoe. They seem I guess confused because they told me how they spoke about this to their sibling's husband when they were dating some dude at the time and said there was no spark.

The hot potatoe examples would be like.
Example be they dated this guy for a month.I asked how's your boyfriend? and they said they wouldn't call them there boyfriend. I thought that was a bit odd. When I meet them last time they were already looking for guys on Tinder and said that the guy was too touchy and didn't like them stroking their hand. And how they would think they were in trouble by the way there friend told them jokes.

I didn't hear them during Christmas hoildays so I asked to hang out.
Which we did
My friend told me how there friend was hooking them up with there friend, but my friend didn't seem that thrill about it.

Afterwards in messager we should go out to this place I found for cocktails. They said this ",Yes let's, but I'm on budget".
Well....fellowing week I was on my Instagram scrolling as you. Next I saw a post of her hanging out with this friend. So much for a budget. They have a full time job and earn a lot and they live at home, so it's not like they are working at some job and not making things meet. I felt upset, I felt lied to and rejected by her.

I asked later on as well how it went they said this "Yeah! I never met the guy so no worries. I'm just back on tinder having chats there"

my response was
"oh fair enough won't be odd. Was the dude odd?

Oh yep ☺️ have you thought it's just a suggestion like a professional dating set up. So the people help you find someone but with your personatily ? My cousin did that and now he is getting married. I thought it might help?

my friend response "No the dude wasn't odd, he looked totally normal. You don't know how these things can be set up if 2 third parties are managing it, so im not fussed. I'm not keen on a professional dating site to be honest. I can get dates, I'm just picky and I know it"

I respondes with this but got no response"2 third parties are managing it? you mean the professional dating? Do you know what you are looking for excatly?maybe we should go by star signs match. So you are Gemini so.... your match would be"

until later on saying it's not there thing.

Regards for a friend being there.
Yeah no.
Earlier on I told them how I had a hard time with a pervious friend who bullied me badly and wanted to reconnect with me and I was debating should I? I spoke to them online but they wanted to meet face to face. And how I saw them walking by one time in my car because they came overseas and I live nearby their parents house.
So I told my friend how I had these flash backs memories.

They didn't reply or responded to that message but the other message they did.

I told them how I was doing therapy and I broke down crying because a song triggered me and brought back feelings of my parent leaving the family.
They said this "Ohh you ok? Did a bit of a cry help?"

I replied back and I said I'm okay and explain a bit what was going on..They saw my message and never replied back at all.
I found a funny picture and sent it to them never replied back.

It's been a month and they haven't replied back to me at all.

What's your thoughts of this friend?
are they ghosting me?
why would someone use someone for vadilation and just drop them like the a hot potatoe? why help me and be kind to me at the begining and slowly go cold?
I'm so confused.

Any insights would be appericate and thank you for reading this long message and taking your time to read it as well.