Sooooo anxious today. For some reason my pharmacy won’t release my propranolol prescription. They say it’s “awaiting approval”. Thankfully RS found a bottle here for me. If I can take the propranolol regularly my anxiety will abate.

I’m being a sad sack these days. I’m not sui anymore at least but I’m still fighting SH urges. I’m determined to make it a year SH free though. Ten days. March 21.

I’m holding out hope for the ECT. It saved my life once. And I’m fairly certain it worked a second time too. I’ve only had two bilateral treatments, those are the ones that work for me. It’s unfortunate that those are the ones that work because they’re also the ones that cause the most memory loss. But it is what it is. If meds aren’t going to work anymore then I must find relief elsewhere. I’ll have three next week and probably two or three the week after.

I’m not sure if I mentioned this but my new nephew was born while I was IP. I’m so happy for my brother and sister in law! They were trying for a second for a very long time before my SIL finally fell pregnant. Hopefully I’ll get to meet him soon.

Please forgive me everyone if I forget a lot of details around here, it’s a side effect of the treatments. It’s embarrassing but like I said, if I get my life back it’s worth it.