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Originally Posted by divine1966
Are you receiving any treatment for OCD you mention you have? In addition to therapy. Were you officially diagnosed?
My husband has severe OCD. He is not obsessing over people but his OCD is safety related. The kind of unless you turn the key exact number of times, you can’t leave the house because the house will be on fire or something else scary. He has to be on low dose of meds or he cannot work or function successfully.
Are you able to work? How do you function in other areas of your life? Have your doctor/therapist suggests any medication to cope with OCD? It could do wonders by removing the edge so you can lead productive life. OCD isn’t easy but what have you tried to get it under control? How helpful is your therapist when you share your obsessions with people?
I don’t know if you realize but it seems like while you are obsessing over these friends, they live their lives. Might not be up to your standard like not dating the right way or not doing something right with their money, but they have lots going on. Like this friend works, dates, socializes and has hobbies she enjoys (isn’t she the one you were upset that she baked cakes on the weekends instead of something you thought she should be doing?)
You might need help of your doctor and therapist to get yourself in a better place when you can also be busy with your life rather than analyzing other people’s lives.
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oh yes I was officially diagnosed with OCD at the age of 11.
I did have therapy for that it was related when I was kid more the magic thinking that's one of the terms DSM 5 book calls it.
I was afarid as a child things were going to put curses on me and I would have to pray to God etc. and germs was a issue as well.
Not anymore.
Sorry to hear about husband it must be really hard for him and for you at times.
Okay so.... to be honsent I have been on a wild journey with my therapy for about 8 years.
Meaning it went from student therapist who had no idea what he was doing and made my symptoms worse for a good 2 years of hell.
I didn't have much choice in changing therapy because it was provided by the public mental health system from goverment. So what ever you were given you were stuck with. The student therapist go to get too was mindfullness and that was it, not joking.He told I had to do it for a hour. I told him I did it for 5 mins to start off but he was upset with me and was like Nope! you have to do it hour. I manage to get to 45mins of mindfullness. He told me I wasn't doing the work apparently to him. He told me my mum shouldn't of had kids. At the time I was living at home with my mum and his great idea was for me to camp outside in a tent. Because I didn't go along with my mother. If I said hey I don't think this therapy is working he would say "I'm a bad therapist". It was hell on earth with this therapist and I have never experience anything like this with a therapist.
At the end I ended up going to my GP doctor and they rang the public mental health system and they asked what I wanted I said I needed a therapist now. Because that student therapist without warning just got up left,.meaning he graduated but didn't say when was leaving.
Then I was given a wonderful therapist that knew what she was doing.
She said I had traits of emotional dsyregulation, so BPD. But towards the end of our therapy she believed I had more traits of PSTD than actually BPD.
She help me a lot and I'm great ful for that.
I had to be discharged by them because the people further up pressure the therapist to discharged their clients. My therapist made up stuff to keep me on but it can go oh so far.
I had to find my own therapist which was hard. I found one but she did psychodymaic therapy which is what my student therapist did and I notice I started to feel a lot worse.
I then search on Google and through someone online recommend me this therapist I have now. Who does DBT, and EMDR therapy.
So I've been seeing her for 2 years now.
The working situation,so that's pretty much related to PSTD. Which prevents me from working because I try twice last year but had panic attacks and flash backs of the past losing my job.
Now my therapist decided okay let's do EMDR therapy.
That's where I am with jobs.
I don't have a lot of friends, I was bullied pretty badly at school as I had to change schools. As at Uni.
It takes me a lot to trust someone so with this friend just drop me and I did everything I could do to be a good friend in my eyes and what I learnt in therapy to vaildate them and be there for them. It really affected me. I think now ,oh no one likes me what's the point making friends. I just be left dissapointed again, meaning they just stop talking me. Why put myself through that again.
Okay I mention the dating thing, to explain her behaviour with other people. It's not about my standard or anything like that.
What I mean was hey, so she treats people like this in dating and I was treated kinda the same. In the sense of suddenly stop talking to me and drop like a hot potatoe.
So I was trying to make sense of the whole thing. Because I feel ghosted by her. I didn't do anything obviously mean to her to ghost me.
The baking thing, it's not about her baking.
It's about when I was doing everything for the art classes to the point I couldn't do even my own art or my own stuff and she wasn't helping. She was on about oh work so was much to do, but she was baking or dating men, so she did have time to help me. But she didn't care!!
And that is upsetting and hurtful.
Because when I confronted her about this
I said "So you knew I was doing everything". And she said "Yes it wasn't a secert"
So she didn't felt guilty or anything I was doing everything.
Also I told her I felt lonely and sad doing everything and she said "Well I told you work comes first for me".
I was shocked by her answer I didn't know how to respond. I told my therapist and she said it was invalidating of her to make that comment.
I told my sister and she said how does that related to what you were experience her comment is disconnect.
Plus she never told me her work comes first.
I hope that makes sense what I've written and be less confusion.