That is true me over analyzing it is causing me more hurt.

Bullying happen as a teenager then I moved schools that was good then the year later the girl who bullied me came to my school because she spread rumours about someone else.
We became friends oddly. We then went to University together and that's when everything went to hell I was bullied by her again! and I had to change classes.
Fellowing year I try to mend things with her and this other friend but I was never allowed to sit next to them. Along with that we had a toxic teacher and he bullied me. I thought it was all in my head until I told my teacher the pervious year and said they had problems with him too.
That event all together made my social anxiety whole lot worse.
Then in 2017 the girl who bullied me her friend we will name them Kate, we had a huge fall out. It was because we had a fight it was over something so stupid looking back. She found out I spoke to someone about her, at that time I was just getting some insight of my friend someone to listen to me or hear me.
Kate couldn't forgive me, even though I found out she spoke behind my back as well years ago. And I forgave her and that girl who bullied me but she can't forgive me.
I try to apologise to her 6 months later she ignored me.
It was only in 2019, with the help of my therapist I asked a friend to send her a message to say sorry. It take her 3 months to reply back and she was nice but I got the impression she didn't want to be friends, so I left it be.

I had a hard commication growing up. I went to see a speech therapist at the age 2-3 years. Turns out I have audio procressing disorder.
Meaning I can hear what you are saying but it takes my brain time to take in what you are saying if spoken super fast to you or in loud enviroments. So I may miss hear what someone would say, it be like "so I went down the street and banana and then I " but the person never said banana. lol
Also I learnt you can misinterpret sounds of people of emotions. Someone may seem excited but to me sound angry.

So at primary school I did felt very isolated as I got older. I had a teacher aid at school and kids treat me differently as if I was werid.

I hope a bit of information explains my situations a bit better to you.

I have notice that before this friend I would constantly get flash backs of pervious friendships aka Kate where they bullied me when I was at Univeristy. It went for gosh 8 years until I started the EMDR therapy.
But for some reason my mind is stuck on this.
I will talk to my therapist about this.

I appericate your kindness.
I just don't know how to move on. Someone says to me move on but I just see words, I don't know the steps how to do that.