Your post is causing me to rethink what I might do about this friend that I cut off. I think your post does sum up my history with this person. Over the years, there were disappointments. Also, she seemed to test my boundaries. She definitely was more of a taker than a giver. I had decided to just accept some of this. I even thought it was good for me because I learned more about sticking up for myself. Our last conversation was an instance of her being disrespectful. There'd been others. She likes to needle people and see what she can get away with. Sometimes I took it as verbal playfulness, which it was when it was mild. But she'ld up the ante now and then, making me feel challenged and tested. Suddenly, I felt like I'ld had it. She tossed off an insulting remark. She was quite out of line. It's not like she didn't know any better. She is quite socially sophisticated. It felt like she was looking to see what I would put up with. That's an odd goal for a friend.

I would like to be smarter about handling that kind of behavior when I'm on the receiving end of it. I got quite rattled. I'ld like to not be that vulnerable.