Quote:
Originally Posted by smile1217
I just feel like I don’t know….I’ve been struggling with borderline personality as well so I have a huge fear of abandonment & I think my body & mind goes into overdrive & I feel like that also makes me freak out sometimes & be anxiously attached….which in turn also makes me feel like it’s my fault. like I feel like I just pushed him and pushed him until he broke instead of giving space
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Bordeline Personality Disorder within yourself does not justify or explain him gaslighting you and abusing you. You do not deserve his abuse, regardless of your mental health status or diagnosis.
It's good you are so self aware of your abandonment issues and attachment style. He would have abused you, even if you had been perfectly behaved. It's not your fault. Engrain that statement in your DNA. His abuse is not your fault and it's not your responsibility.