Bordeline Personality Disorder within yourself does not justify or explain him gaslighting you and abusing you. You do not deserve his abuse, regardless of your mental health status or diagnosis.

It's good you are so self aware of your abandonment issues and attachment style. He would have abused you, even if you had been perfectly behaved. It's not your fault. Engrain that statement in your DNA. His abuse is not your fault and it's not your responsibility.