When Victims Blame Themselves For Their Abusers Actions

"According to the Mayo Clinic, it is common for victims of domestic violence to at least partially blame themselves for the situation. This is often due to the way that domestic abuse eats away at the person’s confidence and self-esteem. They may even blame themselves for what is happening in the relationship.

The following are four common reasons this can happen:

- They believe their partner. Abusers generally fail to take responsibility for their actions, instead blaming the victim for their loss of control. After months or years of hearing this message, victims often begin to believe it.

- Their partner is considered ‘nice’ or ‘normal’ by other people. Domestic abuse is about control and manipulation. As a result, many abusers end up being very charming and are often well thought of among friends, family, or in the community. This can lead victims to blame themselves and to think the situation is a result of some shortcoming on their part.

- People they do tell downplay the situation or refuse to believe them. Sadly, there are times when a domestic violence victim will confide in a doctor, therapist, co-worker, family member or friend, only to have the person downplay the incident or not believe them. This only reinforces the idea that the victim themselves is to blame.

- There have been occasions where they acted out against the abuser. Everyone loses their temper sometimes. For domestic violence victims, episodes where they yelled, slammed a door and stormed out of the room, or took some other type of action against the abuser may be viewed as justification for the abusive behavior."

4 Reasons Why Victims Blame Themselves For Domestic Violence