So sorry you have PMDD, as well.

I had to look it up.

It causes dysphoria and mood swings.

Have you been to the doctor?

You need the care of a good doctor.

You do sound somewhat paranoid, and that's a thought I had even before you mentioned it.

Let us know where you're at in terms of getting good outside help... you need that.

I am concerned that you are developing psychotic features which is what I have akin to depression, although mine is controlled now.

Please go get help...