I also am not familiar with your history, but this is what comes to my mind:

In some of the self-improvement I've been doing recently, they use the term "fawn." Perhaps this is what you are doing? You fawn over certain people in an attempt to build closer relationships? No, people don't like it, work or not, and for some of us, that can be hard to understand- especially if no one much fawns over us and we'd like a little of that from time to time.

One self help person I follow says that those of us who have trouble with relationships tend to do the four F's. Those are fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. None of them are good. We engage too quickly on an emotional level. Detaching and learning/ practicing good boundaries are good places to start.

Do you go to counseling or engage in self improvement practices otherwise?