I've only recently started therapy again. And whilst this is a good thing, I'm also intensely aware of how vulnerable this makes me.

My memory plays tricks on me, but I'm sure it was my second session when I lost it - the whole nine yards. All the way.

I can't even recall the words that were being spoken at the time, but suddenly only a part of me was sitting in my therapist's office. The rest of me was 'somewhere', very close to the time and place that I was assaulted.

I tried desperately to pull back, to stop myself heading down that slippery slide. It didn't work. Panic, tears, a sense of loss. Incredible sadness. Fear. Terror. And the sense that he was still nearby.

My therapist waited a little until I came back to her... but I was a mess for the rest of the session.

She told me a few things that help - to remind myself to stop. That those things are in the past. That right here and now I'm safe. That its over.

They do help, sort of. But I'm yet to get any sort of proper handle on my PTSD episodes.

Hugs to you!