I’m terrified to really be going forward with the legal separation, and knowing the end of the relationship is for real this time. I’m ashamed about how I have been. But, I also now understand I acted the way scientific processes caused me to act. I didn’t understand that at the time. I do now, so I can be gentle with myself for the inner critic beating me up about it.

Only one therapist said in a brief comment that I have attachment issues. There was no follow up. I took it upon myself to learn all about it now and, oh boy, I really have attachment issues. The good news is they are something that can be improved with a therapist. So I’m going to find someone to help me learn healthier attachment.

What’s the point of beating myself up about past mistakes? What’s done is done. I can’t change it. All I can do is move forward and try to be healthier.