I agree and at the same time what options does that leave me ?

Be depressed and lonely more often then not while holding onto hope that things will get better ? She just started going back on her meds and it will be a few weeks before the effects from those are seen. They may help her a lot as this all started back up again after she stopped taking them .

Or

End it or stop trying to save it and unravel 3 decades of the life I worked my *** off to get to this point just to have life get harder .
Our son may take her side and then I potentially loose him.from my life This will also result in severe depression for sone time that also may get better with time .
I grew up without my father in my life and it messed me up some I'm sure and it's hard not feeling if this fails that I will have become my father . That concept. really bothers me .

Sometimes I wish I woke up as a different person without all this weight on my shoulders. It's really weighing my soul down of late .