Well, as a child, I felt some romanticized responses from my mom, some kind of flirting moments that I believe was initialized by me (puberty, I guess)… but my mom would always stop with it as soon as I would more conciously realize what is going on.
As a kid, I never had a good relationship with my father, he was always there, but we were like a rivals. My mother would feel threatened in some way as soon as me and my father would find a common language about something.
To my parents, a relationship with a girl, or my sister with some boy, would be observed as a betrayal.
After a decade or two, after few failed relationships, I am now in a 7 year long relationship with a devorced woman 2 years younger than me, with a kid. My sister had multiple secret relationships with married men.
Like last post said, maybe I just made a connection that is logical and possible. I just wonder where did it went wrong and why I don't see myself married or with my own family in the future.
My parents just never supported idea of me and my sister having health relationships on our own and our families in future... They would just never say a thing in that direction. As if they had a secret plan and programmed each opposite sex child to stay there for them in their old age. To me they look like they're in a broken marriage for decades, only live in same house, and pretend for us everything is fine.
For years I have this feeling about their marriage. And think their sick show has crippled me and my sister. On the surface everything seems normal from outside, but just little deeper there are so many twisted dinamics, tones of denial, zero spontaneity and nothing moves on.