((((( Silver )))))
Keep venting on here. I'm sorry that you're feeling like this. Don't hate yourself because you matter, you are a good person, you have just been through a lot and you're having a very tough time- not your fault. SI won't help.

You are real and you are important. You are not a monster. I know it is very hard to stay strong but you are worth it. Lots of people, myself included, are all here for you.