No, seriously, like what the hell was that all about. There's challenging and then there's pushing someone so far they end up jumping off the cliff. F***you. Especially given the fact that we had literally just need exploring the fact that I need that emotional closeness. I know you were just trying to understand, but you are trying to understand something that isn't even there yet. F*** you. F*** you. F*** you. I'm in so much pain right now and you put me here. Why couldn't you have just been kind and gentle. Why did you have to keep asking questions that I have literally no hope of answering. And then when I had totally checked out, at the end, with my eyes closed and just willing myself out of there, you keep going. I haven't felt like wanting to hurt myself for years but you drove me to that, today, with your incessant babbling and your f***ing stupid questions. You said you were glad I didn't, I'm sure only because it would have made a mess. And then it's time to leave. No talk of how to look after myself. No compassion. No holding. You didn't even ask me how I was doing. Sometimes you are as gentle and considerate as a f***ing hippo.