YES! This is what your children wanted you to see so desperately. Your wife’s cold control and self absorption left them constantly stressed rather then having a home they could feel safe in so they could grow and develop their own sense of self. They don’t really know how to articulate this feeling. You all felt a “fear” when your wife entered the picture. That is a red flag that someone is a threat to personal safety

You have the ability to be present for your children in a healthy playful way. Your wife simply doesn’t but instead is all about her need for control. On top of this your wife was living her life with regulating herself from one drink to another. Within that lifestyle came the circular mood swings where others never know what mood she will present. Even when it’s positive it’s still all about HER.

Do you really want your children to feel that this is their fault? Like you do? Do you want them to believe they are not good enough? This will set them up to ending up with an unhealthy partner often believing they are not being loved because they failed.

It’s only been a short time that you have experienced a home environment that is safer and you can play and engage your children. Now you will have a chance to see how life can be without this negative unpredictable presence