When I saw my first therapist in Fall 2005, it was a woman. I had no choice as the 3 names my EAP gave to me were all women. In a way, I was glad, since my presenting issue was marriage difficulties, a spouse who was cheating, abusive, etc. I had this feeling a male therapist would side with my husband.

She didn't turn out to be terribly helpful due to her therapeutic approach but it wasn't due to her gender. We got along fine, but I moved on to a therapist who had a lot of expertise in my main issues (trauma, marriage/divorce). But he was male! I was a little apprehensive to see him because I worried he would take my husband's side because of their shared gender, but I pushed that thought aside and went anyway. We bonded immediately. My fears were groundless. I realize now that because of my past history with my H, it was so very, very important that I have a warm and caring relationship with a male T. It has been healing in a way that I don't think therapy with a woman could have been. I needed "male" to help heal wounds suffered at the hands of another male. I'm so lucky I went to see him because I had no idea what I needed.

I think it's possible to need different gender therapists at different times in our live for different issues.