Try to call if you can. Ts exist to help people. You are not 'messed up'- you are having a tough time and it is hard to cope, by no means are you 'messed up'. Admitting you are having trouble is a very hard thing to do, but that is a good step to getting better.
It's okay to cry, and I'm sure your parents love you and want what is best for you... talking to a T is not weak, it is helpful, and you are a good person- you deserve to feel better.