I grieved while in the marriage. It wasn’t what I wished. That hurt so deep in my soul I grieved and my mental health suffered. Now that I am freshly out, I am numb. I have flashbacks of the trauma and feel disbelief that happened. I feel alright with that everything happened, though. A lot of good happened, too. We had kids, and they mean everything to me. I hate that the marriage was so bad, but I am at peace that it was my path. Now, it is my mission to be healthy. No more romantic relationships for me and I feel fine about that. I do feel defective and broken now. But this thinking we are taught to think about how we must be in a couple is faulty and I don’t have to do that. Yes, I had prolonged grief while in the marriage for what I so badly wanted the relationship to be, and now I am numb and coping with the aftermath of trauma.