I wish there was public transit..but I live in a small southren town public transit is not even reasonbile because everything is so far out..either you own a vechiel or you know someone that owns a vechile or your just out of luck. Hopefully if I work overtime for the next month or so I can gather enough money to make a down payment on a car.

I'm actually looking up hotlines right now..sometimes I don't feel safe with myself..espically at night when I am alone. Alone seems to be a big problem for me.

I haven't cryed in so long..last time I really cried..like really cried I basicly was have a huge meltdown that was triggerd be my parents guilt tripping me into going and seeing my Dad's mom in the hospital...hosptials are really big triggers for me. After that I got sucidal..so I assocaite crying with my sucidal feelings..which makes it hard to cry without getting in a really dangerous spot.