So, this is not about any specific relationship. It's also not a current issue, but simply a pattern I hope to some day break away from.

No matter the type of relationship, whenever one ends, it is hard for me to understand who I was within it. I remember my actions and reasons for the most part, but I no longer feel any connection to them. There is a discontinuity, a break from who I was then, and who I am now.
In friendships, this is small, and some connection can still be made, but in romantic partnerships this is hughe. An insurmountable schism between me now and me then, an almost total lack of identification, of continuity. I say "almost" only because I can relate to who I was then in the same degree as I can relate to any other human being unconnected to myself.

Does anyone else feel like this? How do you deal with it? Has anyone gotten over this? Is this possibly simply based on my lack of coherent sense of self and when and if I manage to get me one of those the issue will go away?

Thanks!