Why do you have guilt? About what?

You didn’t cause it. This man is an addict. He is addicted to numerous substances. Pills, weed, alcohol. If he smokes it 24/7 then you don’t even know who he really is as he’s always under the influence. I hope he only has supervised visits as intoxicated people shouldn’t be in charge of taking care of minors.

He treated you very poorly with outmost disrespect. He blocked you. And you said he is seeing someone else (another victim of his abuse). Why would you feel guilty?

I forgot if you shared that but I highly recommend therapy. How was your upbringing? Homelife with your parents? What makes you not only accepting but actively seeking an abuser? Please focus on that. You deserve so much better. No one needs partners like this man. You don’t need him