Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Why do you have guilt? About what?
You didn’t cause it. This man is an addict. He is addicted to numerous substances. Pills, weed, alcohol. If he smokes it 24/7 then you don’t even know who he really is as he’s always under the influence. I hope he only has supervised visits as intoxicated people shouldn’t be in charge of taking care of minors.
He treated you very poorly with outmost disrespect. He blocked you. And you said he is seeing someone else (another victim of his abuse). Why would you feel guilty?
I forgot if you shared that but I highly recommend therapy. How was your upbringing? Homelife with your parents? What makes you not only accepting but actively seeking an abuser? Please focus on that. You deserve so much better. No one needs partners like this man. You don’t need him
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I guess I’m feeling guilty in like I feel like I betrayed him or let him down in a way…I don’t know. Like I would get frustrated & upset with him which would cause me to say some pretty hurtful things, and even if some of those things were/are true, I still feel bad about it. I said I was going to talk to his ex wife to hear her side of the story etc. which makes me feel bad because I was someone he confided in for months during his divorce process about her & then I just like put that in his face I feel like. And yes he definitely has substance abuse issues, he does have joint custody though of their 1 1/2 year old week on and week off. and I know he smokes weed in front of her 100%.
I am in therapy but this the first time I’m really I guess digging deep into my past to figure out the same questions you have as to why I would even want someone like him or feel guilty.