I think I have to admit the ECT did not work as well as it has in the past. I still feel terrible about myself. I guess that’s something I have to deal with in therapy. Idk. I have to contact my therapist and see if she has any openings for me. If not I’m not going to do therapy anymore. I’m not starting over with a new therapist.

I have one more ECT session on Wednesday and then I’ve voluntarily ended them. That will be 12 total. I’m starting work again on March 27th. I don’t see the point in continuing with the treatments if they’re not helping a lot. It’s just wrecking my memory, I don’t need that.

They definitely helped a little just not as much as they have in the past. I’m really over it. I’m tired of taking my medication too. I’m only taking it because I know how things would go without meds on board and I’m not down with that.

Ugh. I’m just so tired of being sick. I’m almost certain I’m going to get fired again and if that happens I’ll be applying for disability. I’ve pretty much exhausted all my career options.

it’s a sad state of affairs in my mind right now.