I am learning to name the emotions I feel without placing judgments on myself. There are many negative emotions I feel over what happened, and it is hard to not judge and blame myself. I chose to stay in the bad situation. While there were reasons for this that do not point blame at me, other reasons are due to my selfishness. Yes, the worst thing I can say to put blame on me and shame on me is in some aspect I was selfish. Okay. Aren’t we all selfish sometimes? I can forgive myself for that. I feel remorseful mostly because my kids ended up being adversely affected. I did not realize this was happening at the time. I only know it now, in hindsight. This is why it is so important to show them a peaceful, happy me moving forward. As much as I wanted to set a good example, I really screwed up and did just the opposite. I feel terrible shame looking back, but I didn’t see it then, so I can’t change the past. I hope I will be better moving forward, finally.